When I started The Journey I said I was going to be real with what I write and with the changes I have been making. I have some topics in my head that I don’t want to share (tiger marks, aka stretch marks, belly flab, pants falling down as I run, insecurity I feel at times as I exercise, body parts that just aren’t the same as before kids, etc.) but will at some point…and I only do this because I know someone else out there is like me. Maybe talking about this will help someone else accomplish a goal to get healthier.
So…here it goes.
A few months ago I wrote about something that I saw (you can read it here)…and it made me upset, sad, frustrated and wanted to kick all of America in the rear to get them moving.
What did I see? An entire family leaving a home for a few minutes, coming back with bags of McDonalds, the kids going inside to eat and the mom staying in her car to eat…and then light up a few cigs. She was in her car for almost an hour…eating and smoking.
Habits…nasty, nasty bad habits.
Here are a few of my old habits (feel free to cringe with me as you read them…cause there are some bad ones):
- driving to specific fast food places because I liked their fries better than another place (some of these are really far from my house!). That means…sometimes burger at one place, fries at a different place.
- eating fast food or “out” at least 3 times a week
- not having any fruits or vegetables some days…even consecutive days
- eating Culver’s ice cream every week (but why can’t I lose weight?, duh!)
- buying a package of bakery goods (my favorite was the pre-made brownies that were the tiny cupcake size from Target) and eating them in my car on the way home from the store. Sometimes I would share with the kids…sometimes I wouldn’t
- not drinking any water…days at a time
- eating a sleeve of Ritz crackers because I was hungry…or bored…not sure which one
- buying Girl Scout cookies with the thinking that these are a one-time thing. Box of cookies gets eaten in 1 sitting and then buying more the next time I see the girls sitting outside a store. Yes…I am spending $4 to put thousands of calories down my throat.
- not eating breakfast…for years
- rewarding myself with candy or food
- …I have others too…that is just the tip of the iceberg for me.
I have been and a few years ago would have been that women in the car that I saw…minus the huffing and puffing on the cig. As I was watching her I was reminded over and over how awful I was eating and what horrible habits I was teaching my kids. Want to know what my kids call Friday? Fast Food Friday. I never called it that but I can’t say that they didn’t learn it from me…we always ate out on Friday.
Would I say that I am a food addict? Most definitely
Was I aware of this addiction while I was overweight? No. I am serious. I had no idea that I had a problem. My husband knew I had a problem when all of his “treat” food would be gone when he came home from work. I did not see this as a problem.
I would say that for me, eating the correct foods are not a simple choice. This is a mental thing for me…I am making a choice to eat better. Do I always like it? No. Am I starting to desire the taste for healthier foods? Yes. Did this happen in one day? Umm…I wish…but no.
How do I cope with this addiction? If something is in my house that I shouldn’t eat…I will most likely eat it. Keeping those triggers out, not putting them in my shopping cart at the grocery store and just being aware of what my stomach is telling me is one of the biggest challenges that I have had. I just put 4 cupcakes in my cart the other day, walked all around the store with them in my cart while thinking about how tasty they would be..and then I put the package back as I was checking out. I am certain that for 3 years or more I never heard my stomach growl. I didn’t even know what hunger was. I knew how to eat and ate when I wanted, whenever I wanted. I didn’t know how to stop.
Does this mean that I eat good stuff all the time? No. I have learned about moderation, I didn’t say that I’ve mastered it…it is a work in progress.
Do I still want to grab a candy bar as I am in the check-out aisle at the store? 99.9% of the time…yes.
What food items or habits keep you from moving forward in your journey?