The first part of The Truth About Body Bashing revealed a way to help stop the negative talk that women seem to tell themselves on a frequent basis. You do it, I do it and it is something that just needs to stop. There was a challenge on the post and I encourage you to find it, read it and try it if you have a habit of pinpointing areas on your body that you just don’t think are perfect.
Part 2 is a little bit of a twist about body bashing and is something that I know is true with at least 99% of us. If you say you don’t have a problem with this type of body bashing I really think you might be lying. 🙂
Here is an example of what we are talking about:
This morning I was at the gym. Out of the 25+ women that were in the gym this morning I was the only one lifting barbells. Since I was the only woman in that area of the gym I knew people were watching me…I could feel their beady little eyes (and I could see them staring in the mirror too so I do know that they were actually watching me). While I was lifting weights (on my new favorite toy at the gym!) I really didn’t care about the stares. I was having so much fun and I wasn’t paying too much attention to anyone. I had my to-do list of my exercises, I felt great and I was getting them done left and right. My insecurity that I have sometimes felt at the gym before wasn’t around this morning at all.
As I went through my day though my mind started to go back to those eyes. There were a few women that were on the elliptical machines together and I could just see their eyes all day…like they were engrained in my brain. My thoughts started to wonder…were they staring because:
- there was something wrong with my clothes…maybe a sweat stain in the wrong place? Awkward!
- Maybe they thought that my tummy roll that kept sticking out over the side of my pants was just gross and that I shouldn’t be wearing my spandex pants and tank top.
- Maybe my hair was just yuck, which it really was today and it also is every day at 5:30am…I’m not doing my hair before I go to the gym…or pretty much ever. I didn’t really care about that one.
- What if something was sticking out of my nose?
- What if they thought I was just ridiculous doing weights like that? I mean, c’mon, seriously…no other woman is lifting a barbell over their head.
- Maybe I’m not pretty and they think I’m ugly.
Not once in my mind did the possibility that stares could be something positive…like…I was doing an awesome job. 😉
I mentioned in pt 1 that I’ve also heard comments like “your skinny” and “I’m jealous” as they are describing me. (In that post you will also learn that I am a size with a 1 in front of it…not what the media says is “skinny”) These people saying these comments…I’ve thought the same thing about them! Why in the world would they say this about me? There are also people that I see who have a body type that I will only ever dream about and I wonder how they can be so lucky to have a body like that. Do I ever consider the work that it might take them to maintain that body or to have a body fat percentage that is lower than the norm?
We judge other women ALL the time! No wonder we have so much negative talk going on in our own heads…we are always off wondering how Miss So & So can eat that cheeseburger today when we know she was just had cake and ice cream at work yesterday.
Women, our society is set up to make us feel like failures. There are so many categories where we feel like we are judged. Moms…you are supposed to work, you aren’t supposed to work, your house needs to look perfect, there should be a hot meal at dinner every night that not only is homemade but also healthy, laundry clean and put away everyday. According to what the media tells us, women are supposed to be a certain size, a certain shape, a certain boob size to be ideal and hair that looks like it was done by a professional everyday. If we aren’t wearing the right clothes or have the latest highlights/lowlights combo we are just doomed for any success. Our relationships with our kids, husband, family and anyone we come in contact need to be presented at all times with a smile because there are no problems in a perfect world. (If any of this is actually true I fail at all of these things pretty much 99% of the time).
Here is the deal though…no one is perfect. Gasp! Even those models that we see on billboards have their “flaws” according to the experts…whomever those might be. Take a look at the video below if you think what you see on billboards, magazines, commercials…or even on the web…is real:
Shocking, isn’t it? To see such a beautiful person already need to be caked with make-up, have their hair done by professionals and then still need to be altered by the computer in order to be “perfect”. CRA-ZY!
The truth about body bashing is this…we need to realize that what the world is showing us as “real”…is just not true.
We are beating ourselves up inside because of fake images that are being presented to us with some made up ideals of what we are supposed to look like, act like and how we should spend our time. We now have a website too where all these crafty people and food pros show off their awesome creations that they have made. We can “pin” these posts and try these creations…which most of the time lead us to realizing that crafts or cooking just wasn’t one of the talents we were given. If the person that posted that pin saw how our project or recipe turned out they would probably laugh at us…or at least we are thinking that we just failed since our project didn’t match the picture on the website.
The truth about body bashing is this…we need to reverse the thinking that “perfect” is mandatory and realize that trying is more important than the presentation. If I would have just had this thought in my head while I was contemplating why those girls were staring at me rather I wouldn’t have had a day of negative thoughts entering my mind over and over. I was trying push presses and squats on a power rack…something I have been scared to use for months because I had never used that equipment before. I may not have had my form right each rep but I was trying and to me…that is success.
At times it is hard to step back and think that maybe we just did something great.
The body bashing can stop…
- we need to start replacing the negative with something positive.
- We need to start supporting each other and encouraging each other.
- We need to say “good job!” to those that we admire so they know that we aren’t judging them as we stare but are truly admiring the work that they are doing.
- we need to show other women our “real” moments. Laugh, cry, talk and tell the truth. When someone asks how our day is…”Good. How about you?” is not an appropriate answer if you truly are not having a good day.
- tell your friends what strengths you see in them. You never know when a few kind words will be the exact thing that they need to hear.
- we just need to give other women a break.
The Journey supports YOU and we think you’re awesome! No judging here from us!
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