I have been reminded the last few days that life really is not in my hands no matter how hard I try to make things happen my way. I was reminded of this exact point the other day…as my foot was in incredible pain. Ok…it was in pain before that but I really was in denial of what was going on and was just hoping it would go away. Hmm, sounds just like how I got to the point of crawling up our stairs because walking was too painful.
I went for a nice little jog while my 5 year old rode his bike. There was some pushing, some walking, some jogging…and one all out run as he was going down a hill. He thought it was great…I thought I was gonna die.
I came back to the house, took off my shoes and immediately felt the bottom of my right foot cramp up and have pain each time that I walked. It was horrible…but I had felt this before and a little bit more each day that last couple of weeks. I was in denial up until that point. I now was recognizing and admitting that I had plantar fasciitis.
I didn’t want it. It hurt. And I think the worst of it is…I am thinking of all the years where I didn’t appreciate the non-injured body that I did have. How many days did I just sit on the couch and not even go for a walk outside or take a bike ride in the neighborhood? When I could run, why didn’t I?
Today I received an e-mail from a friend that has a battle ahead of him…and really needs to focus on getting the best medical care he can. He can’t do many things right now including things he is passionate about because of his illness. It is one of those moments where you see how in a moment your life could take a turn and you sortof reflect back on all those moments where you didn’t appreciate what you had while it was right in front of you.
I could go on and on of other instances…we all have these in our lives and know someone who has battled cancer and was so sick during parts of it and couldn’t eat and the times they were jacked up on steroids and ate all of the pizza on the table (ok, that was my sister who ate my friends’ pizza and left none for us). We know the person with diabetes who has lost toes, maybe even a leg or needing eye surgery as a result of this disease (this one is my dad…and many other dads out there that I have learned about through The Journey). What about the person that worked so hard on everyone else and making sure thatother lives were taken care of but forgot to take care of their own? (you might as well put me and almost every other mom in this category…am I right, moms?)
Reading about my friends’ illness and what is coming up in his life…all the questions and uncertainty that is still surrounding his future…reminded me once again that I truly need to be thankful for what I CAN do today and actually keep working on those things rather than dwell on what I CAN’T.
I had that I CAN mindset going into our race this past weekend but that attitude quickly turned into an “I’m a failure” type of cheer. Read on…
Cori and I, our husbands and my brother just finished The Warrior Dash on Saturday. It was hot…like really hot but we all managed to finish without falling over in heat exhaustion or need to stop because of an injury. That right there…is success and is a feat that many people wouldn’t even attempt to try. But…WE DID IT! We climbed over boards, used ropes to pull us up and over walls, we jumped in water that was probably full of e-coli from horse poop and we managed to even jump on cars and climb over a few.
In the back of my mind though is this nagging thought that says, “but you were last in the group”. Yes, I was last…I am well aware of that. I have an entire list of negative things that are running through my head that are telling me that I am a loser for finishing at 59 minutes 13 seconds:
- you are not a good runner because of your asthma
- you were scared to swing your leg over the cargo net
- you run slow and your body is not built to run
- you almost didn’t pull yourself up over that wall
- you had to jump down to the smaller car to get off the larger car
With all the negatives going through my head about the race on Saturday, I have to remind myself not to think of the CAN’T words and negative parts of my journey that bring me down to a slower pace than some. Today it truly is a battle in my mind as I see the results posted online. I finished in under an hour…and I need to be proud of that. I CAN complete The Warrior Dash and I CAN do every obstacle. I will never be the fastest or strongest person but I CAN finish…and one of the best things…because I strength train and exercise regularly, I wasn’t even sore on Sunday. Last year I could hardly walk the day after the race. That is a success right there…and I need to acknowledge those types of CAN victories and not think of success based on time.
Three years ago an event like The Warrior Dash wasn’t even on my radar…cause just a car ride to an event like this would have caused major pain in my hips.
What else CAN I do today that wasn’t possible a few years ago? Today I can:
- go for a walk with my dog, husband and kids.
- teach a cycling class
- encourage others at The Journey
- still do any workout that I want as long as I don’t put running into the mix (which is just fine with me!)
- walk up the stairs without my hips hurting with each step
- wear a size Large…which I wasn’t wearing 3 years ago
- take a picture of myself without feeling bad about what I saw
Take a moment and just think…What CAN you do? Share your comments here and let’s congratulate ourselves and each other on the positive stuff and not dwell on the negative things today.
Jessica is a mom of three kids, a wife to one 😉 and just switched jobs! She now teaches fitness classes in two locations in Rochester 4 days a week and will be opening a gym for woman that are on their own journey of getting healthier. You can also find items that Jessica sells at her Etsy store…with more items coming soon…and some even specific for The Journey. 😉