13 years ago today I had my first child. She is an official teenager. She can now legally sit in the front seat of our vehicle (although she is taller than some people who drive and sit in the front). She wears the same size shoe as me. She wears 2 sizes of shirt smaller than myself. I’m also pretty sure that she will at some point in her life be taller than I am…and I am pretty tall. She is a great kid. 🙂
Looking back though when she was 2…I honestly didn’t think I would make it. This little human being was terrorizing every part of my world, would never sleep and sang Barney songs all the time…which is just annoying. At one point I walked in her room and she decided to “play” with baby powder. It was everywhere. Dresser, floor, bed, window, closet, in dresser drawers, all over her toys…it was like a winter storm had blown in to just her room…and had a smell of a baby.
I love my “little” girl…but 13 years ago today my body was struggling to survive. My daughter was born and I had complications just after her delivery. I didn’t even get to hold her because as soon as she was born all craziness let loose in my hospital room. I went from having one nurse for me and one for my daughter, along with my doctor…to about as many nurses as possible that could fit in my little room. I think some sort of panic button must have been pushed or some code announced because it seemed like the entire staff of the floor was helping me. My husband was stuck in a corner and probably shouldn’t have been in the room but he couldn’t get out. I remember him saying, “Is there supposed to be that much blood.”
I was in and out of knowing what was going on but saw a lot of things poking out of me at one point and lots of people in the room. Thankfully I had an epidural but it was starting to wear off because I could feel stuff…and my body was in shock. I heard the words, “prep the ER” and remember the sides of my bed being pulled up and the wheels unlocked so I could be moved to the ER. I had no idea why.
Later that day I held my daughter for the first time but was hardly able to even have enough strength to move my body on the bed so I could sit up. I lost so much blood that my iron levels were extremely low and I could tell. After things calmed down a bit I also learned what had happened just after I gave birth to our daughter; I was going to have an emergency hysterectomy. I was bleeding and it wasn’t able to be stopped and that was the only way to save my life. The doctor somehow had fast enough hands to figure out what to do just in time…and just as those wheels were unlocked he was able to stop it. Later that night my room was cleaned and my bed was moved…the amount of blood under my bed was similar to what you would see on an episode of E.R. or Grey’s Anatomy during one of those nasty, graphic scenes.
My perspective today is thankfulness…because today I not only have my daughter but two little boys and I am still here.
Sometimes we have to just take a moment and be thankful. My life could have taken a different turn 13 years ago and somehow my life was saved…and I was still able to have 2 more kids.
This week…take a moment and see if there is one thing that you can look at with a different view. Maybe it is your job, family situations, how you feel about what you see in the mirror. Find one thing and just take a step back, think about what your life was like 13 years ago. Maybe you had a big event in your life 8 or 10 years ago…or longer. How has that changed your life and how do you see life today?
The last 3 weeks I’ve been working with cancer survivors with the LiveSTRONG program at our Y. I wasn’t sure how I would be able to handle this to be honest. My emotions were pretty raw during our training sessions back in early September and being seated next to a woman who had leukemia at about the same time as when my sister was sick with her cancer…was tough. It was almost one of those situations where you want to stand up and move your chair to another part of the room because then you don’t have to deal with the reality that this person sitting about 6 inches away from you is a survivor and your sister is not. I had water with me and drank a lot…because when you drink water the tears tend to go away a bit (did you know that?).
I see the pain on the faces. I see the pain that some of the bodies are in. I see the determination in the eyes of some of the individuals. I notice that some eyes are filled with a fire to make life the best because they have another day to live. Others are realizing that they just beat the thing that was supposed to kill them…and they aren’t sure how to process that right now.
Their perspective is not the same as my own in life…but I understand a piece of where they are coming from as a survivor. But this is their life and these individuals have a totally different way to view life because they are here…and they are thankful for that chance to be here another day. They say this every day and they know it…they realize life is a gift and that they need to enjoy each day. They might think that they are learning from me…but I am really learning more from them. 🙂
What is your perspective?
- on life.
- on being healthy.
- on family.
- on what your purpose is.
- on how people should act when they are in a confrontation.
- on how people should speak honestly to eachother rather than just give the general “I’m fine”.
- on how parents should raise their kids.
- on how you treat today…as a blessing or a day that is just another 24 hours.
- on what you treasure.
- on how you handle a day where the news you receive is tragic.
- on when you have a pantry and fridge full of food…and yet still want more.
Share with us one thing that you thought about…and how your perspective has changed this week. We’d love to chat with you too…and you can use all the ways below to get in touch with us here at The Journey.
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