The “Real” Journey Pt. 1…proud vs. condescending

Not too long ago I was casually opening my e-mail to find a not-so nice message calling The Journey (me specifically) condescending and without compassion for those that are starting their own journey.  On a site where I have my story posted I was also called “fat” in my after picture (among a few other things).

I took some time to reflect on those words before I wrote about this because I wanted to make sure that the anger I had wasn’t part of this post.  To say that those hurtful words are out of my head would be lying.  I am sure that it will always be engrained in my brain because the mind of a woman is just wired that way.  Am I right, women?

Today I wanted to make sure that every groupie that is here at The Journey knows what this site is all about because the words written above truly don’t describe this site or myself.  This is also going to lead you to learning more about Cori and myself, which we have plans to do for the future with a “25 Things About” post.  Things are gonna get personal and even more “real” very soon and will even vary a bit from the fitness side of things.  🙂  I’ve already shared a lot of my journey and struggles in my story (you can read it here) and will be sharing some more current issues too…including what it is like to try to maintain weightloss (hint…that includes weight gain) and some stuff where having the title of “mom” could help if there was an instruction booklet to go with each child.  Make sure you are following the page so you get the rest of this series.

Today though…we are talking about what The Journey is all about and why we created this site.  I also have 2 tips for you and your journey.  Here we go.

What The Journey is All About:

• The Journey is a site where you won’t find profanity...which I think is something that we really need in this world that is so full of negative already.  I’m not a prude…swearing just has never been a part of who I am.  Our world is full of this already, from the songs on the radio that hide behind “radio edit” versions, to the pictures of fitness motivational quotes that are plastered everywhere.  I don’t need to see profanity when I am trying to motivate myself to get to the gym the next morning or hear it when I am on a run and I want to just finish this hill.  I might be the minority in this…but that is ok.  Calling my butt a different word (not gluteus maximum) or describing something with words that are just plain repulsive don’t have a place in my life or in my kids’ ears.  You won’t see a picture or a post that we write with a swear word in it…EVER…on The Journey.  Nuff said I think on that one.
• Let’s talk pictures for a minute…shall we.  I know the trend at the moment is to find a girl with her boobs covered up by her arms that show she has ab muscles or has a tiny waist and include a trendy caption like “I may not be there yet but I’m closer than I was yesterday”…all I can say is, seriously?!?   Our perception of beauty and health in this country (I live in the US) is so distorted that I can’t do anything but turn my head.  These pictures are everywhere…magazines, tv, websites, products, advertising pieces…you can’t NOT find these each day unless you were living at home and had no media outlet what-so-ever.  I will not post any images like that on our page…and here is why: self-esteem for you and for me.  Coming from that obese category on the BMI charts I know how it feels to see pictures like that and compare those images to what I was seeing in the mirror.  My self-esteem was not even registering on any charts.  I think that I looked at the mirror many times but never IN the mirror to see the real me while I was going through the years of weight gain.  I had friends that would prance around in their bikinis and I would be wearing a sweatshirt in 90 degree weather.  Our society isn’t telling us that we are beautiful.  Our society isn’t given us the affirmation that we need when pictures of practically naked woman are plastered everywhere.  Those pictures…they won’t be here because I want you to find your true beauty and not have images of other woman that have been photoshopped and glamoured up to compare yourselves to.  Will we show before/after photos of those telling about their own journeys …yes.  Sometimes those will be in swimsuits or tanks and shorts…but these are real and show you want can be done when the work is put in and where the starting point was for that individual.
• The Journey isn’t about me entirely, but this was started because of my own journey of getting healthier.  I am very proud of my accomplishments that I have made because the road I was going on was just bordering diabetes, high blood pressure and a hip replacement. My journey has been full of pain and some really huge battles, some emotional and some physical.  The pain aspect…I can’t describe what that was like other than having pain with every movement I made while being awake and asleep for 3 full years, plus 5 months and 7 months during my first two pregnancies. Everything I did was painful and continued to be painful for a year after I started physical therapy. To this day I will still have days where the pain gets triggered and I am reminded where I started. My starting line for my own personal journey required a lot of determination from myself because in order to get where I am now, I had to work through and exercise with that pain…and that was brutal. Exercising in the beginning is hard enough…try doing that with a hip that would pop out while you are walking on the treadmill…not much fun.  Compassion for the beginner on their journey…I lived that journey so of course I have compassion.  I wrote my story of weightloss at this site (find it here) and am showing my perspective of what I did and hopefully the story will encourage others to make smart changes and small changes that will help them get to their own goals.  Am I proud?  Yes.  Am I telling you that I am better than you?  Um…NO!  This is just my journey and what I have done and what I am doing.
• Support for YOU!  Honestly…I didn’t have much support from others while on my own journey and that right there is why I made this site. I don’t want others to go through this alone and I know that some people won’t go through this alone. I did it…but I am wired that way and will accomplish what I have in my mind but I know that a lot of people would have just given up instead.  I don’t want you to give up!  I want you to succeed and see how great it is to accomplish goals left and right, to be happier and ultimately…healthier too.

I have lots of tips for you on your journey…and here are two that I’ll share right now:

1. Results take work and unfortunately, most people want results but they don’t want the work or they don’t understand the functionality of that work and purpose. Do the work, you will get results.  If you don’t want to do the work and you aren’t mentally ready for the changes that you need to do…you may just want to wait until you are truly ready.
2. Results don’t happen by doing the same ol’ stuff…but results can happen if we changes things little by little and start to realize what we are already capable of doing and then push ourselves a little bit farther each time.  When I say, “lift heavier than normal stuff”, I mean…lift something heavier than you are already doing.  You lift a baby, a purse or a backpack each day?  Go weigh that…see how much you are normally already lifting.  Is it 5lb, 10lb’s or more?  Whatever that weight is make sure that when you are exercising that you try to do more than your normal.  Those pretty pink weights that are 1 pound…a gallon of milk weights more than that.

http://www.smallchangesbigpicture.wordpress.com

My own starting line for my journey did start a few years ago but the thoughts of the pain, the fatigue, the struggles to find anyone to help me and encourage me on the days I just wanted to give up…I remember.  I know how hard it is to walk up the stairs when you get winded with going up just 10.  I know how uncomfortable clothes are when they are too tight but you don’t have the courage or the want to go buy the next size up.  The joy of accomplishing a goal…even the little ones…never leaves my mind.  Regardless of where or when we start our own personal journey, we all have had hurdles that we have had to figure out how to jump over or climb.

BE PROUD!  Be proud of you…and while you are along your journey, pick someone else up along the way and encourage them to join us at The Journey.  We are all in this together.

When I say…”Thanks for being part of The Journey!”, I truly mean it.  And this is when I usually sign off and say it.  🙂

Jessica Williams

– Jessica

Jessica & Cori are the writers for The Journey and share tips, stories, recipes and daily motivation to keep working hard at your goals.  You can read more about them at our About page.